The Slump

It has been a few weeks since I posted anything, partly because I have not been very well but also because I have suffered a bit of a slump. The fact is the money is running out, and the only way I have managed to still have some money left is because I missed paying any credit card bills last month. So I am now in a situation where I am on a round of daily and constant phone calls from credit card companies which are a constant reminder of lacking in funds I am. 

I have surprised myself by how much I fear, and how disabling it is to carry my fear with me everywhere. Fear of facing my financial problems, fear of asking for help, fear of having to go outside my comfort zone and push for business, fear of how it will all end up. My fear has and still manifests itself as procrastination, so instead of spending hours working and trying to find a way to move forward. I do however, have moments of shear power, sheer excitement about my future but I find it difficult to maintain these periods. I find I spend myself positioned in front of mindless and meaningless tv programs to numb the problems. This is not what I want, this is not who I want to be and I fight against this positive and motivated person that wants to break free but I seem to be more experienced at fear, I know how to do that well. 

Today I feel a bit better and hence I wanted to share it with you. Part of the problem I have found is that because the money is at an end, I can't do anything, even if invited for a coffee I have to consider that there is cost involved, anything I want to do for my business has a cost, so where I was doing really well at the beginning, this has come to a halt because every plan I have there is a cost to it.  I even got upset last week because a couple of friends were due to come to my house to talk about a business idea and at the last minute one of the party called to say that they could not attend because they were not well and I was really upset with her because I had spent money, I did not really have, to buy food for them coming to my house and the poor women was genuinely unwell and then I felt guilty and selfish because all I could do was think about was myself. 

This is not how I want to live, whilst previously I was in debt I always had some money to spend on, so one of the ideas that I came up with was to go back to work so today I went onto a recruiters website and looked for positions doing what I used to do and what I hated to do and as I was looking I just knew that this is not what I want to do. I want to have the chance to grow my business I know what my purpose is and I want the chance to go ahead and succeed. 

My frustration with my situation is that my constant thoughts about lack are leading me down the wrong path but the more letters I receive from the IRS, Banks and Credit Card Companies the more I am presented with and the more I think about lack and therefore, the more lack I have. I don't want to go down, I want to succeed, I want to find a way through this at the moment I feel as if I am trekking through a dense jungle and am having to chop down, using just a machete, all that is in front of me before I can take each step. 

You know when you see those programs or you read about people who just seem to be on the up, there life just seems to be going in the right direction and all the goals they set for themselves they achieve, I want to be like that, I imagine a movie of my life where it is all good and positive, someone who has taken themselves from rock bottom all the way up. I want that to me. 

I have to become more disciplined, I have to set myself daily challenges that I must meet, I to discipline my mind as well as my body, I have to plan and write goals, I have to find a way to create and manifest money and also believe that I can do it. 

Something that I have signed up to do is the Boundless Living Challenge. As you know I am a big fan of Bob Doyle and his Wealth Beyond Reason program, he is running his yearly Boundless Living Challenge. Starting on 16th April 2009; anyone can sign up, it is free to join. It is a 45 day challenge for you to start to manifest the life you want, you set yourself a goal or challenge and in order to help you achieve it you have at your fingertips a wealth of resources from the Wealth Beyond Reason program but also the support of everyone else that joins. Bob himself, whist a facilitator also sets himself a yearly challenge.  I am going to give this a go because I am still a believer that you create your next moments and this is not the end for me this is just the beginning and whilst I may be going through a difficult few weeks, I am going to be successful and I can see a time in the future when I am living the life I want, financially free and I will look back on this period and know that it helped to shape me. 

The Power of Your Beliefs

It is really amazing what you learn about yourself when you actually take the time to listen. I have heard the experts talk about beliefs, and how your beliefs about yourself shape the foundation of you life, but until you really start to take stock, and get rid of the constant mind chatter and let your real self speak you are blind to it.

The other week, I talked about how these opportunities have started to present themselves and how much happier I feel and how many people have mentioned this. I have put more focus into this, standing guard to the doors of my mind, as Anthony Robins tells you to do, trying in vain to turn away the negative thoughts, more concentration has gone into this than I put into talking about shoes, bags and The Real Housewives of New York City, so a lot of effort as you can imagine.

Since my last post things have been strange, the fantastic opportunities are still presenting themselves, but also some worrying developments have been received with regards to my lack of money and failure to pay certain organizations. The money is very close to running out and this is where is gets weird, if I think slightly into the future, next month, the month after, things are great, all the projects are taking off, money is in and I am loving it, however, if I think to next week and just past that (I know this is a bit vague but it is how my mind makes the representation) I am frozen with fear about the money and I can not seem to get past that my thought process is about, lack, lack of money, lack of time, lack of clients, lack, lack, lack.......

This is the conflict and where my beliefs come into play. Your beliefs are learnt behaviors, so I have learnt and developed a very brilliant strategy with regards to worrying about lack of money, I do this so well I don't need to think about it, it just plays its self, I don't question how I do it, I just know how. It is so clever than even when I stand guard at the doors of my mind it sneaks past and it is not until I have been playing my strategy for a period of time I recognize that I have been doing it, it referred to as unconscious competence, My lack of money belief is so strong and well developed, it is the same as if you gave me a knife and fork, I would not question how to sit at plate of food and use these utensils. I have been practicing this since I was two years old, it is just natural to be now, in same way I practiced worrying about money probably even before I had any, you could say it was inherited.

It takes a while to understand your beliefs, because want you want is often different, many people would say that they want to be wealthy but there current money situation is a good indication of their true beliefs. So you have to dig deep, but once you do know what can you do about it. Really this comes to your own strength of mind.

Since writing this blog, I have been incredibly disciplined in certain areas, especially since finishing work, so on a daily basis, I follow a process of tapping (EFT, which I will go into in a later posting), I meditate (badly) but I do it even if I get just able to quiet my mind for a minute. One of the reasons I make the effort to meditate, even though I struggle with it, is that I was struck by something that was quoted in The Secret, where it was said that without exception all contributors and experts to the book meditated on a daily basis, so I figured if it works for them it has got to work for me. I also write a gratitude diary, every evening, which I actually find really helps because I look for things during the day to be thankful for, so if someone is even remotely kind and generous or the mail man brings nice mail, it goes in the diary, just anything I can say thank you for. I spend five minutes just visualizing everything going exactly how I want it to go, I have a hypnosis CD that I listen to daily which is very powerful called How To Be A Money Magnet, which really helps to quiet my conscious mind and get in touch with my unconscious mind, also something which helps to turn my thinking, is a product that I have talked about before and that is Bob Doyle's Wealth Beyond Reason which I find quite motivating and as I go about my day, I play on my ipod, because it just engrains into me that my thinking affects my life.

It is working, without a doubt because I am able to be happy, where as before I know, I would have sat racked with fear and made the situation worse. However, it takes practice, a lot of practice, but I am going to keep going. I was panicked the other day because ten years ago I was in the same position which just shows you the power of your beliefs and how they create the patterns of your life, and I was becoming quite sad because I felt that for all the hard work and sacrifice I have made I don't seem to have moved on, but I have and the difference this time is that I know better. Before, I thought I was at the mercy of outside influences and only good luck would help me, but now I know that I control everything so even in this time of doom and gloom and talk of a depression, I know that I am going to be a success, it may hairy for a few weeks but I am not going to go down, I am not giving up all that I have, materially, physically, mentally or spiritually. I decide, not a politician, not a corporation or any other organization that could take me down, that is not going to happen, only I create my next moments. 

It's Working

In my last posting I talked about how I had finally answered a question about the law of attraction and how I could attract money when all evidence was to the contrary in my life and it seems to be working. Although, when I think about it, I need to stop saying that, the law of attraction is always working it is just that I seem to only give it credit when something is going well for me.

Anyway, I have been working diligently since my original posting to try and change my negative thinking patterns to those of a more positive leaning, so I always complete a gratitude journal, I use a process call EFT (more about that in another blog), I am listening to a hypnosis CD about attracting abundance, I visualize and meditate and I try and listen to my Bob Doyle, Wealth Beyond Reason once a day and it is really paying off.

Whilst I still have moments of complete panic because I have no idea where the money is going to come from and it is starting to run out fast, I do it less and am able to pull myself out of the negative thinking a lot quicker and I must be given off a different aura, as several people have commented on how happy I seem.

However, I really noticed it the other day when I went to a business club, of which I have been a member for over three years. I have never picked up any business from this meeting before because whilst I have been trying to set up my business, I have always had another job so did not really go with an attitude that it would work for me but last week whilst at the meeting, three people sought me out with potential business ideas, that is the first time and I already have meetings for this week set up.

I truly recommend that you check out the Wealth Beyond Reason or if you just want an introduction to the law of the attraction try Rhonda Byrne's The Secret

Where before I was completely panicked about everything now I am much calmer, deep down I truly believe everything is going to be alright, I just need the money, it just does not seem like some a huge task, I know it will come.

Finally I Get It

Well the time has come, I have now left work and the extent of my debt is staring me in the face. I am a big believer in the Law of Attraction, I like the most of the world have read The Secret, but in certain areas it left me with more questions than it answered. For example, in my situation, how do I attract money and abundance into my life, when on a daily basis I am reminded that I am not wealthy or have anything close to abundance, this is a physical manifestation and a constant noise in my head, a constant chatter about, how I am going to pay the bills, how am I going to get out of this, how, how how?

All these thoughts and visions surround me then it leads me back, as always, to my constant companion, Anxiety, the loop therefore continues. I may have mentioned it before but I do think about lack of, a lot, lack of money, lack of time, lack of knowledge and even with a basic knowledge of the law of attraction, you know that when you think and feel lack of, then you get lack of. It makes sense, but how do you stop thinking about lack of when it stares you in the face, the loop continues.

Then the answer came to me in David Cameron's & Bob Doyle's, who contributed to The Secret, Wealth Beyond Reason. As part of a program, I received a set of MP3s to download and had been listening to them for a few days and then on a cold winter's morning, stood waiting for a train, there it was just a simple sentence. The program said, don't look to what is on the outside because, what is happening in your world now is as a result of thoughts gone by, but look within side yourself and believe that you are wealthy now, that was all I needed.

However, I listened to the Wealth Beyond Reason with more intensity and realized that it is crammed with valuable information about how you should be thinking, feeling and acting to create the life you want. To put it in context, The Secret is pre school, Wealth Beyond Reason is senior year high school. It has completely turned around the way I act within my life. Watch this spot so I can update you on turning my life around.

Listen to Bob talk about the Law of Attraction here

One Last Whine

Ok, I realize that my last two post have been rambling and self indulgent and that is not the purpose of this blog, the objective is to give you an insight into the techniques that I am using to turn my life around which so far has not gone to plan but will you allow me one last whine?

In my last post I wrote that I had been informed that my contract will not be renewed, the reason they gave was that a few programs had been canned and therefore, there was not enough work. So get my surprise today as I surfed the job boards, whilst I know I stated that this is plan B, tick tock tick tock, the calendar keeps moving, anyway back to the point, I found my job being advertised.

Now at first, and this is the real reason for this post, I was incredibly indignant, I was going storm and have a go about how they were not honest with me and how humiliating it is, but as I been working to turn my life around, I am starting learn and take things in, one of the components that seems to smack me round the head each day is that I have manifested this, it is all my doing, I don't want to do the job or any other job like it, I did not do a good job, I turned up did the minimum and went home always on time and as much as I am just a breath away from becoming a dribbling wreck of worry and anxiety about my finances it is the right thing. In level head moments, I know this is what I wanted the only thing and it is small things is to get the money.

I am working hard each day to ingrain in myself that it is as easy to manifest a million dollars than it is to attract one dollar. I am doing all I can to believe, despite all the physical evidence that presents itself, (again I recognize with my constant worry and believes of lack that I am doing this to myself), that I am rich now.

Anyway I promise in my next post no more whining I will give you positive details of a program that I have been listening obsessively

Onwards and upwards


Ann Y Noone

No Turning Back

So it has been two months now since my first blog. I wanted to leave it for a while because I have been on a journey of learning, devouring information about how I can earn a massive amount of money in a very short space of time but also how my own beliefs are proving to be my worst enemy and then start to report back once I had done a little research.

Things really took a big step on Friday when I was informed that my current contract would not be renewed at its end, which is approximately in three weeks time, so this weekend has been a strange one. There is, on one hand, the knowledge that I completely manifested this myself. I told everyone, all my friends, family and anyone who would listen that this was it, I was not going to do this job anymore, when this placement finished so was done. I have imagined my life free from the doldrums and the confines of this career I hate. I spend hours imagining what I will do, there is the promise of a complete and cathartic cleanse of my apartment, the promise of trips to the movies and museums, a guarantee that I will spend at least two hours every day reading so I can get through my public sized library full of books that have purchased and never read. There are the dreams of having my niece to stay during the holidays and lunching with my Mom during the week whilst the massive rush by on their way to a faceless office at the mercy the great 9:00 to 5:30 big wheel and something that I have completely failed to do since I moved here and that is to thoroughly enjoy the city in which I reside. Most importantly I want to fulfill my purpose; I have a head swimming with ideas, so much so it becomes painful because I am so excited about these ideas I almost run out of space in my body for this massive surge of emotion to fit, this ideas are what I want to do, they will give me the career I have always dreamed of, but more importantly they have a value, the jobs I have held so previously have had no value other than contribute the profits of large corporations. 

So here's the problem, you might remember my inaugural blog posting I mentioned a little financial problem, well that continues to grow on a daily basis so whilst I can be thankful that my wish has come true in terms of my career, I don't actually have the financial muscle to back it up. Truth be known, I don't even have enough money to last a week. I would love to admit to a little exaggeration at this point but if the truth be known I think I am underestimating the extent of my financial situation, avoiding at this stage calendars and my bank account. 

The big question is what is stopping me? I knew this situation was going to arise, but yet even though in the same way on a daily basis I am going to finally start that diet and would always find a way to sweet talk (literally) myself out of it, I have been promising myself that I would put aside a set amount of time to get down and make money but it is unbelievable what I can find to fill my time that is not doing what I should be doing and that is getting myself out of this debt hole.

But now there is no turning back, it is same situation now when you wished you had done your homework on Friday as soon as you walked through the door after school but instead it is Monday morning and you are on the school bus and it is still not done, but you were warned by your teacher that if it was late just one more time you would get detention and a letter sent home to your parents. This is it, the Oh S**t moment. So I either have find a way to come up with a very, very large sum of money in a short space of time or at the very least find a way to earn the same amount of passive income as I do sat in dull brown corporate office on a daily basis and I need to do it quickly.

One of the things I have found out about myself in the last couple of the months, is my default emotion is Anxiety. It sits with me like a loyal pet, always so welcoming, it greets me like long lost friend as if it has not seen me for years when it might only have been a few minutes. Once is has found me it latches on to me never to let go again, and since Friday's news like a leech sucking all the blood out of me. 

Of course I could look for another assignment, but we will call that Plan B for now. The reason why I did not race home on Friday evening, update and issue my resume is that if I go down that path I just jump to another rung of this ever increasing vicious circle. I want this to end, I want this to be my year, despite what is happening with the Global credit crisis, I refuse to join in, even though I may be hanging onto the edge of a cliff by a single split nail I am not going to fall. I want this pattern of failure to end, I want to live the life I dream of, I want to leave my trustworthy pet, Anxiety, at the pound and pick up a new pet called Joy. I would be happy to have that as a companion for a while. 

I want to stop spending Sunday evenings cloistered in my apartment as if my Mom has told me I had to come in from play early, have a bath and go to bed on time because it is a school the next day and I want to wake on a Monday morning in my own time and as the result of the mocking tone of an alarm clock at 6 am, along with my faithful friend Anxiety lying on my stomach excitedly licking my face. 

In the past few months I have spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, (I know, I know, the debts), trying to find the magic formula to earn a lot of money, quickly, without having to do a lot of work and I believe I have the answers but they sit in my inbox like my homework would sit at the bottom of my school bag, but on top of that, which I believe to be the most important I have vowed to change my thoughts. At the moment I spend my days and nights in a vat of lack of. Over the years, I have failed to notice them creep up on me, the amount of time that I think that there is a lack of money, lack of time, lack of people who will buy from me, lack of believe in myself, lack, lack, lack, that is all I seem to think. These thoughts and beliefs are so deeply embedded, they are like a bitch stain on your favorite shirt, no matter what you try it just never goes away. So it is time for a new tactic, I am just going to have to dye it a different color and the beat the ass off it.  

So I have committed to a daily round of meditation, at which I am rubbish, hypnosis to attract money, Neuro Linguistic Programming tools and techniques and all the exercises I can hold in my head for the Law of Attraction. 

I ask you to join me as I chart my progress, I will be honest and tell you what works and honest for those things that don't. 

A Y Noone.

Setting The Scene

A short while ago I received a wonderful gift from the IRS, informing me of a tax bill of $30,000, adding this to my piles of bills that currently total over $230,000, not including my mortgage, you can understand how overjoyed I was and I know there are only more bills to come. 

Please let me explain so you do not think that I am just a shopping addict who spends her time either hitting the malls racking up more credit or hiding from debt recovery agents. The fact is on a day to day basis the bills get paid, there are no outstanding mortgage or credit card payments and my credit score is good, the issue really for me is these large tax bills that require payment in whole. Whilst I am not the most frugal with my money, I can spend with the best of them, the problems stem from a long period of being out of work, where I had to turn to all my money and credit to get by and then when I finally went back to work I was still earning as much as I was when I lost my job but instead to get myself out of trouble I needed to have earned double, but that rarely happens. 

So for a long time now I have lived, with mounting debts, putting on a happy face, no one knows, not even close friends and family, to the outside world, I have a good job, I live in a nice apartment, in a good part of the city, things seem as if everything is going well, when in fact I am slowly drowning, each day just managing to keep my head above water. 

A strange thing happened though, as I stared at this piece of paper, trying to get my head round this addition, to my already massive debts, I could so easily have gone postal, I could have lost it at that point and just allowed myself to drown, but instead I felt a strange sense of calm, as if, that is it, this is the worst it can be, my life can not be any worse, 1) I have over $230,000 worth debts, 2) I am over 100 pounds overweight and 3) I am not far off loosing my current job as my manager and I do not seem to see eye to eye.

I could be mistaken for a loser, and a few weeks ago I would have agreed but that is not me, I am more than that, how I imagine my life to be so different to how it is now, but everything I have now, has been a thought, so why not turn the good thoughts in to the life I want, someone who is successful, a person who others envy, who is living her best life, living for a purpose. 

At that moment I made a decision, I wasn't going down, I was going to win, I was going to fight this and create the life I want for real and not just in my thoughts. Hence the reason for my this blog.

I figure I have about six months, before things start to get heavy and the IRS will not longer negotiate, so by the end of May my plan is to have paid off all tax bills, my the end of 2009, I will be financially free. You can follow my journey, my highs and lows, my triumphs and failures. Anytime somethings helps me to move a step closer to my goals, I will let you know, also those promises that turn out to be a lie I will also tell you. 

So as the days, weeks and a year goes by you can follow me and see how I do.